Friday, February 27, 2009

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

A quote from Haunted, by Chuck Palahniuk.

If we can forgive what's been done to us...

If we can forgive what we've done to others...

If we can leave all of our stories behind. Our being villains or victims.

Only then can we maybe rescue the world.

But we still sit here, waiting to be saved.
While we're still victims, hoping to be discovered while we suffer.

Monday, February 23, 2009

"The man" is holding me down.

For the rest of your life (you have to choose one, whores) would you rather be irresponsible and spontaneous or responsible and cowardly? Just think about it.

Friday, February 20, 2009

God is one cool dude.

There is so much I have to be thankful for.

I started to write out a blog about how I'm moving back to New York, earlier.. and I kind of ended up reflecting on how my life has been going for the past few months.

I guess I just realized how lucky I am.

Much like the rest of the world, I don't often talk about what is going well in my life. Instead, I complain about how awkward or tired I am. The world perceives us by the things we say and do. I may personally recognize all of the wonderful things I have to be appreciative of, but all my moaning doesn't make it seem that way. If I want to help or inspire people.. I'm certainly not doing a good job of it.

I have so many wonderful people in my life- friends and family alike.

Not only that, In less than a month I went out into the unknown and found a job and a place to live. I'm only just beginning to gain my independence. I'm only just beginning to grasp the concept of true responsiblity and self-discipline *starts imagining warriors and ninjas in training.*

I'm not moving for at least another month and a half or so.. I'll move when I can find someone to replace me in the house I'm currently living and someone to buy my brand new fullsize bed (I'll miss you cloud comfort<3).

Before I go there area few things I need to do.

1-Play with a few of my Gordon friends at the boston childrens' museum of science(just $1 on Fridays-holler!)
2-Go to the institute of contemporary art ($1 on thursdays)
3-Go to a beach and watch the sunrise. I only know of North Shore beaches and I'm a lot closer to the South shore so if anyone knows of any good ones, let me know. I don't care how cold it is. I'll bundle up, bring a blanket, and some hot cocao. (cliche, but I feel like it'd be a nice thing to do before going back to NY. Maybe bring my sketchpad and do some writing, etc.)

And the fourth is what I'm most excited for! On my way home, I'm going to go to a bunch of record shops :-D I'll google a bunch and stop at all of the ones that are on the way down to New York. There's one in Brighton I've been wanting to go to and I know of one on the south shore... other than that, I need to do some research. YAY.

That's all for now :-) Happy Friday.
I must go file some things and look busy, because I've been doing this for about... well, a long time.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Eight Days a week (by yours truly)

Taking a mental picture so I’d be able to describe this scene later, I took out my phone and began to type.

There I sat on the train- In between a girl and her music, and a man persistently tapping his foot. I searched inside my purse for the book I was already half way through in less than a week- Haunted, by Chuck Palahniuk. Just as I began to get lost within the chapter I had last left off at lunch, the train slowly came to a halt. The sound of a street performer faintly echoed through the corridors of the subway station and into the train car.

Ooh I need your love babe

People filed in and out.

Guess you know it’s true

Young couples whispering, friends laughing, and old men turning the pages of their newspapers.

Hope you need my love babe

Gradually louder, the music became more distinct.

Just like I need you

A singer and his guitar. The lyrics rang-

Hold me, love me, hold me, love me

The Beatles, Eight days a week. It was generally a cliché choice of song, despite how classic. A good cover of such a popular song was hard to find. No musicians can come close to the original fervor that rang through the music first created by The Beatles.

I ain’t got nothin’ but love babe, eight days a week

Something about this rendition caught me off guard. My heartbeat began to climb.

Was it the passion in his voice as he sang out so honestly to the public? Or was just because of how much I enjoy the original?

Whatever it was, it called out to me from off of the train. I so wanted to go; yet I sat glued to my seat. My muscles prepared to make a run for the train doors, yet in the seat I remained- In between a girl and her music and a man tapping his foot.

Eight days week I love you

Something in me yearned to listen to the man sing his song longer, to hear what else might echo through the seemingly endless subway tunnels.

My heart fluttered.

Eight days a week is not enough to show I care

Nobody else took notice of the man. All of them holding on to the rails of the train, reading their books, listening to their own music- everyone in their own world.

Love you ev’ry day girl, always on my mind

Could they feel what I was feeling? Such a strong connection to the music and maybe even the glimmer of something in common with this man- all was completely nonsensical. Why this performer? And why this song so often played?

One thing I can say girl, love you all the time.

So many times I have passed talented street performers on corners, at bus stops, and at the train station. But nothing like this.

Hold me, love me, hold me, love me

I watched the doors begin to close.

I ain’t got nothin’ but love girl,

I thought over running out before the train could leave or possibly getting off at the next stop and walking back. Instead I looked at the book held open in my lap. Page 268, second paragraph from the top. I glanced down to the sentence I never finished.

The train picked up it’s speed, rushing away from the music.

Eight days a week.

And I began to read.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

This is meant to be satirical.

I wanted to post a few garfield minus garfields which I felt sum up my life at the moment.

... But after looking through a bunch of them....

(and by a bunch of them I mean a few months worth)

...I've decided that all of them do.

Take this one for example-
I'm very easily amused.

This comic is quite accurate, as well-
When certain things in life are bringing me down.. I tend to describe things in an overdramtic or sarcastic way. It's obvious that I'm joking, makes me laugh, and makes whoever I'm ranting to laugh (hopefully).

And this one-
I use my imgination as a way to escape. o0 ahh. It's a defense mechanism. But it sure is a fun one.

This one is spot on-
It's the simple things in life that make me happy.

And last, but certainly not least-
When all is said and done, I come to a realistic and worthwhile conclusion.

For more excerpts from my life you can visit:

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Straightforward and to the point. All the other ways to do it just piss me off.

I don't dance around what I really mean- What I think, how I'm feeling.

It scares me to be honest, but if someone confronts me with a question, I'm going to tell the truth. I'm not going to hide behind vague, unclear stories or excuses.

I'm straight with people, with the hopes that people will be straight with me. Because that's respect.

(most) Everyone at Gordon College was so afraid to be themselves, yet everyone always complained about the horrible "stigma" which existed within the whole schools' community. After being there for over a year and a half I'm sick of pretending. I'm sick of being around people who are fake.

I understand why some people choose to retreat. Why some people choose to hide behind false facades.. Some don't even realize that they use these defense mechanisms.

I've come to terms with the fact that some are just not capable of change. I hate it, but it's the truth and reality of the world we live in.

Being around all of this.. all of this suckiness.. It kind of inspires me.
It inspires me to be my own person and to embrace figuring out who I am.

I'm not quite sure how to end this blog. I keep on wanting to mention how my mother sent me this incredibly cheesy video entitled, Wisdom in Hot Chocolate. It was a metaphor for life and happiness using hot chocolate and fancy cups. You're smart people, you can figure it out.

I'm going to leave you with a quote, so I don't have to conclude thoughts.

"When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me.'"- Erma Bombeck

Friday, February 13, 2009

I'm not a stalker. I'm just observant.


Likes buying lunch rather than bringing it
Drinks tea and eats yogurt everyday
Likes chocolate
An interesting sense of style
Wanted to go into Film


In a relationship
An insomniac
Drinks a lot of Diet Coke (mostly for the caffiene, I'd gather)
Passionate about people
Extremely hard-working
Wanted to be an artist

These are two women that I work with. Women that I can tell I have various things in common with after working here for just a week.

I never thought I would be working a 9-5 job. It's really not that bad, It's all about the mentality of it, I guess. Working for the man. Following the crowd. Getting up everyday to put on business casual slacks and heels.

At first I was astounded as to why someone would choose to be an accountant. Frankly, I still am. Are there people out there who truly enjoy this job? Sitting inside all day, filing things, talking to rich snobs (and nice rich people, as well of course), and typing numbers into their computer day after day. I can confidently say that most often people choose to become a CPA because of the money. I couldn't understand this concept.

Working so hard, doing something that you most likely don't enjoy... just for the money. Abandoning your dreams, the one thing you hoped for your entire life, or maybe just realized one day out of the blue that THIS is what you wanted to do with the rest of your life... just for money.

I get it now though. Or I'm just starting to get it. If you can do something everyday, and be happy enough.. that's all most people could hope for. Be an accountant, be a manager of some store, be a custodian, a mailman. Make a living in whatever way you can, because I guess they're called "dreams" for a reason. Happiness is scarcely found and that is no ones fault but your own (in most cases, at least). Do whatever you have to do so you can live, but make sure to not loose your spark.

These people do what they have to do so they can provide for themselves and their families. So they can go home and spend time with their children and friends.

This is responsibility.

These are also just the thoughts of a naive 19 year old.. about to go to film school in 8 months.

I don't want to end up at an accounting firm answering telephone calls, filing business forms.. All while my art is stashed away in the basement. The very art that years ago my art teacher begged me not to throw away and that if I did to please please give to him instead.

I don't want to end up at an accounting firm handling other peoples bills, filing other peoples taxes.. all while my years of experience of production in Hollywood lie dormant. Time, effort, money, training all forgotten.

This is about independence. This is about finding out who you are, what you believe, and how to do it all on your own, no one to lean on. This is being 19. I guess, this is being an adult.

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Passage from Daily Word.


Look at the people around you with spiritual awareness and see that, like you, they are truly expressions of my love reaching out ot he world. Recognizing the sacredness of all life brings you a greater realization of your own sacredness and your capacity to be all that you dreamed you could be and even more!

Everything that is happening to you will lead you to the experiences that will help you to grow and give expression to your own unique gifts. Through it all, I am with you.

I am with you as you let go of the past, as you let go of worries and stress and any painful memories. I am with you as you take that first step into a new life with a heightened awareness of the greatness within you.

Beloved, take that next step. Now is the perfect time.

'Now is the acceptable time.' -2 Corinthians 6:2"

Thursday, February 5, 2009

This hat makes me happy. I like it.

Yes, I'm that desperate (and lucky to be getting paid right now)

Username: Colormekristen

Why did you pick it?: I was brainstorming screennames for aim and I must have had a color me bad song in my head or seen something about them, and thought 'omgosh.. colormeKRISTEN'

Who did you first subscribe to?: Er.. I'm not sure. The yt-er that got me making videos was FunnyPranks (their back in the day videos, though)

Who did you most recently subscribe to?: Dominorecords. They have amazing music videos up.

What does your last text message say? from my brother saying "well congrats no getting the job anyway. its cool you got it- we r all very proud of u!"

Do you have any goals?: To try and stick it out at this job for the next few months and then go to film school. Maybe while I go to film school depending on the one...

What was the last thing you bought?: Uh, cough drops and trail mix from the drug store downstairs.

Describe the person who posted this using one line?: Many a persons have done this.

Are you excited about anything?: Uhm.. Haha, I'm trying to think of a response that is appropriate to reveal to the entire interwebz.. I'm excited to handle my sisters pr. I'm making her start a youtube. It's all about connecting with people and word of mouth.

Do you have a crush? I can't think of an appropriate response. I'm just living. That makes me sound like a whore. This question is null in void (whatever that means..)

Have you ever been drunk?: Uhm.. yes. Chris3ff and Heffasaurus can atest to that.

Who was the first Youtuber you met in real life?: Haha, Um.. I think it was officially NickelsandCrimes. I was waiting for my friends in the lobby of the plaza at the 888 thing in Canada and we recognized each other and talked for a bit.

Who was the last Youtuber you met in real life?: Haha, Chris3ff and Heffasaurus. I find it strange calling actual friends youtubers. Once I actually know someone they are friends first and youtubers second.

Do you pefer day or night?: I like both. Eh, that's a lie. I like nighttime better. Sleep all day and then get up and have fun at night. Not to partay really just hang out with friends.

Are you a member of any collab channels?: I am an ex-agroupoffriends-er. And there is Theecommune but EVERYONE is a member of that channel who wants to be. Yea baby, lovee.

Do you have a secret account?: Nope. Pearlandplugs used to be a secret.

Which youtuber do you talk to the most?: o0. That's a toss up between Mimsiesky and Heffasaurs.

Which Youtuber do you think makes the best videos?: o0. I don't know. No comment? I really like Drakesizzles videos :-)

You may only subscribe to 5 channels and only watch their videos. who will they be?: Hm. Cohenism, Drakesizzle, Vlogramen, Failblog, and Theecommune

Are you in a relationship?: Nah, man, nah.

Would you date a smoker?: Yes, but I wouldn't marry one.

Where is your favourite place?: My bedroom back on Long Island. It's cozy and warm and has a door.

Are you a happy person?: I think I am. Everyone has there moments, but it could be SO much worse.

Would you kiss the person who posted this?: Yes, every single one ;-)

What would you take to the desert island?: Music and a friend. Does that count? I'll figure out how to generate electricity from a coconut or something.

Do you prefer sun or snow?: Sun. Snow gets old pretty fast. It's pretty to look at though. Play in, occasionally. (Hey, someone want to play in the snow with me?)

Who did you last speak to on the phone? a random man that i transfered to one of the accounting firm partners.

Who did you last text?: my brother

What are you doing tommorow?: work until 5 and then I think I'm doing girls night with Misha and then going to a party with my new roommates.

What is your favourite flavour of potato chips?: Never really eat chips anymore. baked lays are yummy.

What size are your feet?: 6 1/2

What do you want?: For some reason the first thing that came to mind was a piece of chocolate. I usually never crave chocolate. Maybe I'm pregnant. Yea, that must be it.

What do you need?: A friend. I have a ton, but not any in my city. I would love to just chill or hang out with people after work rather than just going home to my privacyless room.

What do you remember?: Wierd question. I remember all. mwahaha. Like an elephant. (P.s. really good book about elephants? The Elephant Graveyard)

What do you wish?: There are a lot of things I could wish for. I think what I need most is just comfort in the moment. The ability to fully appreciate where I am right now. I do, but not enough.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

First day of work.

Right now it's a little slow. They don't want to overwhelm me with information and things to learn so, I'm basically just sitting at the computer waiting for the phone to ring. I've been twitter updating too much, and looking around craigslist WAY too much.

Do you know how awesome Craiglist is? Yea, I mean, it can be a little sketchy.. but c'mon there's some great stuff and most of it's pretty cheap.

I'm going to pick up two dressers tomorrow, as well as look at a turntable stereo system! It has a radio, tape player, and record player with working speakers for only 40 dollars. HOW AWESOME IS THAT?! O.K., containing my excitement for cheap/free stuff...

(There is someone who I know is making a certain joke about that statement, but I can't say it because it's offenseive. BUT I KNOW YOU THOUGHT IT. You know who you are...possibly)

What else do I have to say? I had a pretty weird dream last night.
I almost never have dreams about youtube, and I was only asleep for a total of one hour last night so it makes it even weirder that this was somewhere in my mind. I was at my new place in my room, when all of a sudden Pilocrates called. Him and Michael Aranda were doing a radio show and calling friends of thiers. All of a sudden I heard Neechers in the background with some other girl kind of arguing back and forth and Pilocrates said, "Don't worry, I'll call back." Then a few minutes later.. he did. Shortly thereafter my alarm clock went off.

I really really hope that I get a full nights sleep tonight. I also can't freaking wait to get a door. People take privacy and security for granted. I really have no choice, but to leave all of my belongings out in the open in my room. The girls seem really cool, and we get along, but you never know. Won't officially have my own room for another couple of weeks (at the least).

I feel like writing a random, on-the-spot, whimsical-like poem.
...Don't expect anything too spectacular. Here goes:

There once was a girl named Kristen,
who spent the past few weeks just a sittin'.
Then she went out and got a job,
but here she still sits just like a bump on a log.
She twittered and shopped in spite of her checks which have not yet come,
as her parents are back in New York hoping she won't be a bum.
But Grandma Diane knows Kristen will do her best,
because Kristen is the one who pushed her own self out of the nest.
So here on the first day of work Kristen sits just like a bump on a log,
Wishing and hoping that working for the man won't push her into a deep fog.

The End :-)

O.k. uh.. back to work? (I swear If I had stuff I was supposed to be doing I would be doing it. I feel pretty stupid sitting here at the main desk crapping around on the freaking internet).

Fer realz *snaps fingers*

Sunday, February 1, 2009


"Know that I am with you and will keep you wherever you go."
Genesis 28:15

Shema, Yisrael. Adonai Eloheinu. Adonai Echad.