Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Borderline

I heard this in Forever 21. Woah, right?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rSaC-YbSDpo

Something in the way you love me won't let me be
I don't want to be your prisoner so baby won't you set me free
Stop playin' with my heart
Finish what you start
When you make my love come down
If you want me let me know
Baby, let it show
Honey, don't you fool around

Just try to understand
I've given all I can 'cause you got the best of me.

CHORUS:
Borderline … feels like I'm goin' to lose my mind
You just keep on pushin' my love over the borderline
Borderline … feels like I'm goin' to lose my mind
You just keep on pushin' my love over the borderline (borderline)
Keep on pushin' me, baby
Don't you know you drive me crazy
You just keep on pushin' my love over the borderline.

Something in your eyes is makin' such a fool of me
When you hold me in your arms you love me till I just can't see
But then you let me down, when I look around, baby you just can't be found
Stop driving me away, I just wanna stay,
There's something I just got to say

Just try to understand
I've given all I can 'cause you got the best of me.

REPEAT CHORUS

Look what your love has done to me
Come on, baby, set me free
You just keep on pushin' my love over the borderline (borderline)
You cause me so much pain, I think I'm goin' insane
What does it take to make you see?
You just keep on pushin' my love over the borderline.

Keep pushin' me, keep pushin' me, keep pushin' my love
(You just keep on pushin' my love over the borderline, borderline)
Come on, baby, come on, darlin', Yeah
Da-da-da-da, da-da-da-da

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Faking optimism in hope

Look, I'm blogging! And it's going to be personal.

I want to write a really poignant blog right now, but I'm too taxed from pouring my whole heart into various letters and messages. I've lost a lot of dignity, but, through it I've honestly realized who I am as a person. And I can say that this person I've seen... is a person I really like. I may act irrationally at times. I may act on impulse and impatience. But through these flaws is a complete genuine sense of honesty, loyalty, and passion.

It's been a crazy few years with a lot of growing and changing my person around. I've had regrets in the past, but I have no regrets for the past year and a half or so. I have followed my heart. I have done what a 20 year old should be doing. This endless and lifelong debate over the difference between WANT and NEED. For me, this debate will be something I always struggle with.

I've found love through boys, through friends, through the environment I've put myself in. Some girls say that they view clothing as different costumes. I view where I live as just that. I have lived in different places and had different experiences and they each give me a different mask to wear. Yet, behind each mask is still the same old girl.

All I want out of life is love, happiness, and fun. But, everyone wants that, don't they?

I don't know where I'm going to find my happiness for the next few months. If you told me two years ago I'd be finding my life and happiness in Richmond, Virginia I would say you are full of it. I'm sure I'll be able to say that a year from now once again.

I am going to make the best of whatever happens. I am going to make the best out of whatever happens, because I want to continue my no regrets path. What happens, happens and all I can do is follow my own judgement and emotions. While tough times are tough, I know that it's not the end of the world. One day I will be whole again. Until then, I will do my best to live and let myself feel when I need to feel.

I'll get through whatever the world has in store for me. It may suck, but I know I'll be able to do it.

Saturday, May 1, 2010