The RoseQuirk Manifesto

The moral flexibility of a 20-something

2011-06-19T11:19:00.002-04:00

We all dive into this lifestyle head first. work hard. party hard and often. Everyone condones this behavior with the secured knowledge that one day it will come to an end. At that point, whenever it comes, you will be a maturing adult. It seems as though with this so cliche college lifestyle (or maybe just richmond lifestyle) comes a moral flexibility. We all jump on the roller-coaster for the ups and downs of experimentation. We fuck up and we learn. Wash and repeat. Over the past year or so of living in Richmond I've encountered too many liars and cheaters to count. Does being a 20 something also require you to test yourself and others in this way? Will people who cheat and lie in their 20s one day say o.k... I've grown up now. I guess to some cheating and lying may be just the same as experimenting with drugs and drinking maybe just a little too often... This time is like a rumspringa for us all. I'd like to have my rumspringa minus the dishonesty and infidelity. But hey, maybe that's just me.

My lovely, shitty bike.

2011-05-24T11:30:00.006-04:00

It wasn't that great of a bike. Just a Mercier from Bikesdirect. Though, it did cost upwards of 400 with shipping, tax, putting it together, and the u-lock. My first bike was even shittier and cost around the same thing. A freaking U-district Torker. I loathed that bike.

I found the bike gone yesterday. I was on my way to class, ready for a quick ride under the hot summer sun. Nothing like that humid, richmond air! I zoomed out the back door and my stomach sank. The gate was open and my bike was gone.

I'm not sure why I'm so, so bothered by it, though. Maybe it's the sinking feeling I felt when I saw the gate open and my bike missing. It's one of those situations you can imagine happening over and over, but never expect when it actually happens. Maybe it's the fact that my roommate is too stubborn to accept the responsibility, despite admitting to leaving the gate open.

Either way my lovely, shitty bike is gone.

I later dulled the pain with cheap wine and the same old richmond adventures. Luckily, the party was close and everyone was walking.

My bike is the way I go to work. It's the way I get around Richmond for errands, partying, seeing friends. My bike is one of the best summer accessories. And now it's gone. And the person to blame can't be objective enough to understand all of this.

So, I'm out 400 something bucks and it's time to invest in a new bike. and I will worship it. Because apparently... my bike meant a lot to me.

Epiphany!

2011-04-25T09:13:00.005-04:00

I just had a brain revolution.

I was asking people about this at work the other day. I feel like music just keeps on getting (by and large) worse and worse. Or rather, more similar and more similar. I could stand the (what I call) "radio hip hop" a year or two ago, but now it all just sounds the same. Even one of my favorite artists, Eminem, is using the same formula for his songs and songs that he cameos. Yell-rap to the same beat and then an evocative and beautifully shrilling voice sings the chorus (most likely female).

I was perusing youtube when I came across this video of Nirvana interviews. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Cc7VYCPXn8&feature=related

Kurt says, "In the late 70s, it's like major record labels were singing punk bands by just shortly after, like most punk bands first gigs. You know, punk bands would start, play their first gig, you know and they would be signed to a major label right away, you know. just because it's a trend right now. and that just proves that their are a lot of old school dinosaurs in the record industry still that need to be weeded out."

But is that true? In marketing 101 you learn that it is the business managers' entire job to cater to the consumer. What the consumer wants, the consumer gets. This is called consumer-based marketing. While many companies will not go by this ideal, in the perfect world, this is what we would have. An series of diverse industries that are catered to our specific needs- not their greedy money goals.

So is it in fact at the fault of the "dinosaurs in the record industry" that there was a search for the "next Nirvana" in the 90's? I don't know. I don't think so. That's what the people were demanding. Audiences LOVED Nirvana like no other band had been loved for decades. So those old dinosaurs wanted to find another hit just like them- for us, and of course... mostly for the money.

So when you have these imperfect ideals battling with each other within the industries of bureaucracy and red tape that "cater" to us. It is up to the ARTIST to create amazing, new boundary-breaking music. It is up to every creative to create things that scare the hell out of their managers. It's when you start using the same formula that things get stale. And my oh my things are getting stale around here, folks.

Have the boundaries been broken lately? Maybe we've fallen into a lull. A creative gravestone. That next movement is probably just under my nose. We just haven't detected it yet. Or maybe it isn't.

The bonus of actually taking part in social media

2011-04-18T20:04:00.004-04:00

One thing I really miss about producing youtube videos regularly and "tweeting" is the fast way you catch onto new websites. The only reason why I knew about Twitter, Tumblr, Dailybooth, etc. first was because of the online community I was apart of.

Without that community I feel like the rest of the world just jumping onto the bandwagon at the very end of its life. Y'all still in the youtube world out there are already on some other bandwagon we don't even know about yet.

Clue me in.

Bikes

2011-04-15T22:19:00.004-04:00

We live in a car-dominated society here in America. That's not the case elsewhere, however.

We have as much right to be on the road as you do. So, please share it. Bikes are held by the same traffic laws that cars are. While many bikers do not follow all of these laws, neither do all cars.

While minding my own business riding my bike on the side of the road as I am supposed to- I am constantly beeped at. For what reason? This is my mode of transportation.

One complaint I have is not signaling. It's incredibly dangerous for other cars around you, but also for the bikers beside you! If we are riding on the right side of the road and you turn without signaling- we could VERY easily be killed... just because you didn't feel like turning on your blinker.

Pedestrians crossing the road while you are zooming on your bike is another beef I have, but many many people wait and It's always INCREDIBLY appreciated.

boarder line is- share the road. if you respect me, I'll respect you.

-City of Richmond Biker

Morning contemplations

2011-04-10T12:45:00.003-04:00

Those first few thoughts just before you actually rise. Mid sleep and awake.

This morning my bedside contemplations were about social media... again. I thought- My inner monologue is some mash up of Bernard Black and Mark Corrigan, while my outer appearance is probably more akin to Moss' (seemingly) clueless exuberance and Roys' cynicism.

I then thought.. Yes. Yes, the title of that Tumblr post would be... "I watch too much british television."

I think the bigger problem is that I'm dreaming about social media and relating with fictional characters. I'd like to read up on some psychological studies on self-deprecating humor and the masses love and resonation with Liz Lemon.

Summer Goal: reduce time spent on the computer and intern3t

2011-03-21T23:23:00.007-04:00

Facebook. click. Youtube. click. Gmail. click. VCU Gmail. click. VCU Blackboard. click. Dailybooth. click.

and before you realize it you've spent the past 45 minutes staring blankly at your computer screen, scrolling over the same pages again and again waiting for something to happen.

What has the internet done to us?

Flat feet barbies

2011-02-16T01:53:00.005-05:00

They were always lame because they couldn't wear the pretty heels the other barbies came with.

Imagination vs. Creativity

2011-02-07T22:15:00.000-05:00

That's all I'ma say.

Music on bad mornings

2011-01-27T09:53:00.005-05:00

Levels of "bad" are all relative. That sounds stupid, but that's how I cope most of my problems. Everything can be laughed at.

I guess there's a lot on my mind because I dreamt about capturing three rabid, fluffy dogs, on a roof top last night. It was night time and someone was watching me from an adjacent roof. After a lot of chasing I finally caught 2 of the dogs and tied them up with leashes to the railing. I didn't have another leash for the third so I sat on it and contained its face with a catchers mask that an umpire would wear in baseball. After awhile of the dog thrashing its face around trying to escape, it said in a human voice something along the lines of- "You know I'm going to make your life a living hell now, right?" And I just kept on holding the mask until this girl who was watching me returned with another leash.

I just woke up thinking... "What??"

It's my second kind of Blahhhhrggg morning, but It's all relative... I listened to Mumford & Sons, Little Lion Man and Heaven by The Cure. Good music seems to absorb any kind of badness that's being touched by its sound. The bad morning seems to kind of sit there quietly tamed by the incredibly simple beauty of playing the right song at the right time.

Day O' Valentines

2011-01-24T10:03:00.003-05:00

People always seem to have incredibly firm views on Valentine's Day. People either love it to death or think it's the epitome of consumerism. I've never had a set opinion. I think it's a nice holiday for people in all kinds of relationships to go the extra mile and show a little appreciation for each other. It's also just a silly, made up holiday.

Television shows, movies, and girly girls... they all make a huge deal over this holiday. But all it ends up being is just. another. day.

Valentine's Day is on a Monday this year. And maybe that makes the "holiday" that much more special. Maybe it should show us that just because it's any other Monday, we should be showing the lovely people around us just how lovely we think they are.

In Richmond, Valentine's day passes just like any other day of the week.

I think I'll crack open the bottle of red I got in the Golan heights of Israel. Maybe I'll cook some chicken and top it off with the orange olive oil I got there, as well. I don't think I'd have it any other way. So however you choose to spend the holiday... cheers to you!

Happy Almost Just Another Day So You Shouldn't Freak Out About It/Valentine's Day.

Happy 1 year anniversary, Richmond!

2011-01-15T20:06:00.001-05:00

As I was driving back to Richmond today I realized that I've officially lived here for a year now! It's been a wild year and I'm ready for whatever the next few are going to look like.

Happy Anniversary, Richmond <3

What happens in 2010 stays in 2010

2011-01-01T07:33:00.003-05:00

Reflective shit and all that-

I'd like to spill out a blog of lovely and crazy things that happened in 2010. I'd like to write of the all of the things I hope and wish to happen in 2011. Here's one thing that has changed over the past year though- I'd way rather hold out to have that conversation with someone in person rather than have it be anonymously read here. I'd like to share these things with someone who is genuine and honest. I've gained the patience to wait for the people I can do that with.

I will say this though... I have one wish for 2011 and one resolution for 2011. Whether or not they both come true is completely up to me and me alone. That's going to be the best part of 2011. How my year goes Is up to me.

Happy new year.

One resolution for 2011-

2010-12-27T14:42:00.009-05:00

I'm doing it me this year!

Bitter... possibly. But, girls like this just don't exist.

2010-12-13T19:47:00.004-05:00

This girl was either A- paid to take this picture or B-wearing this shirt purely for the purposes of this photoshoot. She loves the 90's Tim Burton Batman over The Darkest Knight. She doesn't think that people read comics anymore. She likes Scott Pilgrim, but doesn't know that it's was a graphic novel series first. She knows about Call of Duty: Black Ops, but that's only because she's been bitching about how much her boyfriend has been playing it (let alone understand WHY he's been playing it that much). And I KNOW that the thought that this girl is completely full of herself for taking this picture in the first place hasn't even crossed the minds of everyone with a penis.

Men of the internet, you can continue to jack it to these girls, but at least realize that their just as fake as the tits on each and every wannabe playboy bunny.

The nerd fad

2010-12-06T19:03:00.004-05:00

It just needs to stop.

One fallacy of Richmond I'll never abide by

2010-12-03T12:40:00.002-05:00

Flakiness.

I feel like being a flake is embedded in Richmond Culture. Or the Richmond culture i've been exposed to so far. Since when did it become cool to not respond to a text message for hours if even at all? Since when did it become cool to be hours late for something?

If you text me. I will answer. Whether or not I am available to do whatever you've asked of me. If you invite me somewhere I'll show up at least somewhat on time. I will never make plans with you and then assume they are tentative just because we didn't set a specific time. I will look forward and plan on seeing you for the occasion.

This is a culture of disrespect. A culture of making sure people see a constant mysteriously cool facade. A facade of "Yea, I have so many things I could be doing right now."

It's all bullshit. I understand the need for some parts of this culture, but I hope that when I am done with Richmond in the years to come, that I will be untouched by this culture of 'let's pretend we're all cool as shit.'

I'm pretty fuckin' happy with myself... but, I'm definitely not going to try and prove that to you like so many in this town are trying to do.

Perhaps, It's just one nature of cities. and our generation.

An unsung song

2010-11-26T12:02:00.003-05:00

I've had the chorus for probably over a month. I've written the verses and the bridge over the past few weeks. I just have yet to figure out the right way to sing them and the perfect combination of chords. "perfect"

I really hope this song can fall into place because I really think that if sung in the right way, it could be another favorite.

Look out for it... Hopefully I'll figure it out one of these days.

In the next room

2010-11-20T10:37:00.002-05:00

You haven't realized I've stopped breaking over you
Spilling lies is senseless cause I see right through
You think you've washed yourself pristine but i still see your stains
Finally decided it's not worth it
so walk away eh eh

I hear love in the next room and I don't know if it's true
I need someone to teach me
it's professional curiosity
I don't know what love is but at least this bed is warm
I don't know what love is but at least this bed is warm

I see it everywhere but I don't think it's real
The fantasy is hearts broken and love alike
It's probably just science so maybe we should just wait
I'm still trying to figure out if love's supposed to hurt
Is love supposed to hurt, is love supposed to hurt
is love supposed to hurt, is love supposed to hurt

I hear love in the next room and I don't know if it's true
I need someone to teach me
it's professional curiosity
I don't know what love is but at least this bed is warm
I don't know what love is but at least this bed is warm

I think this room is silent, but I know that they can hear me
I'd rather be alone then worry about love, No

I hear love in the next room and I don't know if it's true
I need someone to teach me
it's professional curiosity
I don't know what love is but at least this bed is warm
I don't know what love is but at least this bed is warm

I hear love in the next room and I don't know if it's true
I need someone to teach me
it's professional curiosity
I don't know what love is but at least this bed is warm
I don't know what love is but at least this bed is warm

This song feels very appropriate right now. The inspiration from which it came is happening as we speak.

I feel like sometimes song writing just falls into place. I wrote this song as just lyrics and how to sing it and what to repeat, etc. just happened the more and more I played it. This is one of my favorite songs I've written. If you peruse back a bunch of pages in my tumblr you'll find the video where I sing this.

A 3 year old little girl said, "Yo woman!" to me.

2010-11-16T08:40:00.004-05:00

At Chili's, I am witnessing the decline of the human language before my very eyes.

Found: "Life is like hip hop" Kristen on 11/5/09

2010-11-15T13:40:00.006-05:00

This is from almost exactly a year ago! It's funny that I've stumbled upon this old "journal entry" if you will... It makes me wonder what other gems I've hidden on this computer.

Did you ever want to do something big? Real big! To the fullest big.
… I’ll refrain from using any dance references. They probably don’t mean as much as they do to me.

But you know what… it makes a lot of sense. Hip hop.

In hip hop you dance to your fullest. You need to put every tiny muscle into making that one dance move POP.

It doesn’t matter if you’re just raising your arm or sliding down to the floor on your knees. You do it to the fullest or else it just doesn’t have that same effect. It doesn’t look good and the audience just goes… “eh.”

Go big or go home. That’s how it is in Hip hop.

And we can apply that to our LIVES! Go big or go home. If you choose to do something, you do it right or otherwise it’s not worth doing. I don’t want to live my life holding back. I have a lot to give and I want to be able to do it without being scared.

There is no room for fear in dancing. You can’t be afraid to give it your all.

I don’t want to be that girl half-effort in the back just merely doing the dance moves. I want to be that girl in the front of the formation full out and loving it. I may be there with mess ups and all. But, It’s all apart of the dance.

lol

BULL SHIT!

2010-10-29T12:09:00.004-04:00

I'm so sick of it.

Why we hate Internet ads

2010-10-09T21:03:00.004-04:00

I'm listening to Pandora radio while quietly doing homework with a friend at 9:03 PM in her Science Lab. The music seamlessly transitions from song to song. I am hard at work concentrating on my History text when an ad for Dunkin Donuts comes on. The voice on the radio, or internet radio, rather, describes a breakfast sandwich. He uses adjectives like mouth-watering, and melted in front of even more breath taking words like sausage and cheese. I am now distracted.

Why are we so bothered by internet advertisements? While we may not enjoy television commercials we still sit through them. Whereas with Internet ads, whether they be pop-ups or banners, we HATE them. I will go so far as to say "hate," because I don't think it's just me that feels personally invaded when a pop up comes up on my screen. I'd like to rip the head of the nearest living thing when I have to sit through an long ad in order to play a fucking time waster of a game.

When we are on the Internet we are there for a purpose. Whether it is for something like doing homework on a school website, researching a topic for a paper, or going to addictinggames.com to play Bloons or hulu.com to catch up on 30 rock... you are there to do something. When you are participating in an activity and taking time out of your day to do something specific you do not want to be distracted away from that task. Even if you are doing something inconsequential such as an online video game, you don't want to have to click away an ad for house ware appliances.

Watching television is completely passive. You choose your show and then you sit there and don't have to do anything. With the internet it is the opposite. You are consistently active.

Internet advertising is still in it's infancy. It is incredibly few and far between that we see an internet advertisement that actually grabs our attention enough to venture off into the land of that ads website. We are not only completely un-interested in internet advertisements, we don't trust them.

It is going to be very interesting to see how this new way of reaching the people with products will develop. Right now almost all advertising on the internet is push advertising. You have no choice but to see it. They have no choice but to make their ad this way because the ones that are pull advertising we don't trust enough to pursue it.

This will definitely change in the coming years. I can't wait to see it happen. As a creative advertising major and one that is not a stranger to social media the internet... I'm going to be living in this world. I better start thinking.

Caffeine induced honesty. Suck it, America. (America has nothing to do with this blog)

2010-10-07T13:37:00.005-04:00

People will always think they know the reason why I made the decision to come to VCU. They probably don't. Here is really why i decided to move to Richmond, VA.

In January of 2010 I took a risk. I consciously decided to go to VCU in Richmond, VA. I did this for multiple reasons.

One being that I had grown incredibly tired of Christians. Going to a private christian college of about 1,700 students total in MA for a year and a half wiped me the heck out. A lot of the people were fake and I needed diversity. I needed realness. I needed the exact opposite of what I had been experiencing. I also REALLY REALLY didn't want to live at home while going to school. As much as NY Film Academy would have been great, it would require a two hour commute 6 or 7 days a week and then ultimately going to St. John's to finish my degree. Those factors alone were enough to not make the commitment to NYFF.

I really didn't have a preference for any other schools. The schools that I had to choose from all seemed fine to me. I felt like I had multiple paths I could go down and each one seemed like it would be perfectly fine. I didn't feel like this because I was indifferent to going back to school... it's pretty much the opposite. All i wanted was to get back into school so I could be in the college environment, meet people, and get my degree.

I wanted adventure. I love having these different life experiences of living in Boston, going to a christian college, taking a year off from school and more. Richmond, VA was something I had never experienced before. Being on 95-S period was completely foreign to me. Now I can say that I've lived in Richmond, VA. I've experienced the people here.

I took a risk coming here. I didn't come here out of ignorance and being blinded by love. I came here fully aware of what could happen and would most likely happen eventually. And I still decided to come. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

I've learned a lot about myself and about people. I have no regrets throughout the past few years of my life. Well... one regret may be not punching that bitch Stephanie straight in the face. Other than that though I feel like I really enjoy who I've become. I know who I am, I love who I am, and I LOVE being single. People can keep on telling themselves that I came down here for a boy, but I know it's not true.

I took a leap of faith and I'm glad I did. Richmond, Virginia is my home. Whether or not I have a boyfriend here.

SUCK IT.

If you're not scared of us already, men... you should be.

2010-10-03T14:35:00.003-04:00

I'm a girl and I'm scared of us. Girls are very cunning and scheming. While boys are playing with robots and making gun noises when they're younger, girls are playing with barbies. We're learning about social skills and hierarchies because you have two barbies and only one ken doll. And trust me... both barbies want that ken doll.

Guys are fairly straight forward. It seems as though not a whole lot of brain power goes into how they act with each other. Girls on the other hand... We construct our social circle and how we act within it very carefully. Everything we do, everything we say to other girls is for a particular purpose. It's almost completely innate! It's something you simply have to do when you're a female trying to make it in this world. This world where every chick always brings along their bestie to the parties they get invited to, or even just to hang out with people. No one goes alone anywhere anymore. You're always with a posse.

Now, that being said, when us chicks agree on something... It's then deemed law. You love pumpkin pie and I love pumpkin pie? Pumpkin pie rocks. You like that beer and I like that beer? That fucking beer is the best. You hate when people are fake and I hate when people are fake? I HATEEE fake people.

Everyone loves talking to people who likes some of the same things and can relate with them about how they feel about something. It seems to be a bit more exaggerated with girls, though. Maybe we really do like being dramatic...

Whatever it is... these commonalities we share fuel us. Depending what it is that we're agreeing upon, it fuels us to the very core for the short while it's prevalent in our lives.

So, boys... I understand why you may be scared of us at times. I would be too if I were in your shoes. While I may be scared of girls too, at least I understand them. You on the other hand... have NO idea.

Men of Richmond, may the force be with you.

Dailybooth List: Number 6

2010-09-15T08:02:00.002-04:00

A Photo of someone you love.

I mean... I love lots of people, but I don't think I'll have anyone for this picture! Just one person? I don't know. Love is a strong word.

Facts.

2010-09-12T23:13:00.002-04:00

I am a girl. I am 21. I am a cliche. It has been a 4 year transformation to make who I am today. I may join a sorority. I have no idea what I or my life will be like in 2 1/2 years when I'm finally graduating college. I am o.k. with all of this.

Writing and shit.

2010-08-13T21:50:00.002-04:00

I say "... and shit" a lot. Writing and shit. I have to do homework and shit. People are going to start thinking I either have a horrible vocabulary or I have issues with my bowel movements.

I've been writing a lot as of late. I would like to share a lot of it, but i have no way of knowing whether it's good or whether it's just pseudo-arty, emo crap. I think it's good, but who knows how people would actually perceive it.

can poetry be pseudo-arty? Yea. I think it can be.

You smell nice. Besides me, has anyone else ever complimented you on your good hygiene?

2010-08-12T19:01:00.001-04:00

O.k., mystery person who is asking me all of these questions. You must reveal yourself or you are hereby being deemed an internet creeper. Thank you and good-bye.

Ask me anything

What is the one thing that makes YOU sad?

2010-08-12T17:31:00.001-04:00

That is a silly question. Instead let me focus on what do i do when I feel sad. And that is watch silly videos of dogs or babies or little kids with ridiculously good singing voices.

Ask me anything

Do you own a pretty dress?

2010-08-12T17:30:00.001-04:00

I own multiple pretty dresses.

Ask me anything

What is the one thing that irritates YOU the most?

2010-08-12T16:16:00.001-04:00

When people condescend you.

Ask me anything

What is the one thing that makes YOU smile?

2010-08-11T19:42:00.001-04:00

I can't exactly say right now. It's usually the small, inconsequential things.

Ask me anything

if i thought i had a chance to make it work i'd ask you out and do the... the whole... asking out thing. And whatever that entails. I mean like DATING and stuff

2010-08-11T13:09:00.001-04:00

Haha, O.k.! Give it a go, dude or lady dude.

Ask me anything

are you unhappy?

2010-08-05T17:44:00.001-04:00

That's a random question! And quite a sad question. Are you unhappy, stranger?

Ask me anything

why are you thinking about not doing any more videos?

2010-08-04T01:54:00.001-04:00

I don't have much to say! I used to talk about myself or other random topics, but as of late I am finding a different way to channel as i used to. I'm focusing on my life outside of the internet and have less time as well.

I may, however begin to post some more doc style videos here and there.

Ask me anything

If you could punch one person from history right in the face, like I'm talking knock the fucker out cold, who would it be?

2010-08-04T01:53:00.001-04:00

Boxing with Hitler might be fun. I would yell random things at him like, "yea a little jew girl just punched you in the nuts. whatchya gonna do about it shitler?"

Ask me anything

ABC Family's New Series: HUGE and "the Media"

2010-07-24T14:03:00.006-04:00

I think it's quite interesting that even though most Americans are overweight almost EVERYONE we see in the media is anything but. The new series on ABC Family is a testament to that. It's not groundbreaking as they may think it is. It is furthering the idealized and fanatical view Americans hold of beauty. The very title of the series is... HUGE. Rather than incorporating real women and men into television shows and movies they have created an entirely separate series. I wonder how the public will receive this new entertainment. Will it give a voice to people who are most often ignored? Or will it patronize them? So far I'm going to go with undertones of the later. Few people will realize how condescending it is because it's fed to you in a nice, pseudo-liberal, cookie, package.

I think this is a very relevant question. Although we are starting to see more curvy women here and there in movies, on television, and in ads, it's only just sparingly. Will this be a fad that soon dies out such as the "Green" phase we are all going through?

The media affects us all. What women and men are chosen for certain roles to play in pieces of media affects us all in very subconscious ways if you are not literate enough in it. We create our media, but it also creates us. That being said, "The media" a general term for forms of technological mass communication has at this point become an entity all it's own. I see as just that despite considering myself media literate. I see all media as the same. Whether I am choosing to read, watch, or listen to it (pull media) or if it's being forced upon me (push media). All of the above most often don't portray my world view. I'm sure almost everyone could agree on that and as technology improves maybe that number will decrease. Our choice of programing diversifies and numerates every single day.

I'll stop myself there, because I could go on forever!

What are your opinions and thoughts on the above?

Borderline

2010-05-18T19:15:00.002-04:00

I heard this in Forever 21. Woah, right?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rSaC-YbSDpo

Something in the way you love me won't let me be
I don't want to be your prisoner so baby won't you set me free
Stop playin' with my heart
Finish what you start
When you make my love come down
If you want me let me know
Baby, let it show
Honey, don't you fool around

Just try to understand
I've given all I can 'cause you got the best of me.

CHORUS:
Borderline … feels like I'm goin' to lose my mind
You just keep on pushin' my love over the borderline
Borderline … feels like I'm goin' to lose my mind
You just keep on pushin' my love over the borderline (borderline)
Keep on pushin' me, baby
Don't you know you drive me crazy
You just keep on pushin' my love over the borderline.

Something in your eyes is makin' such a fool of me
When you hold me in your arms you love me till I just can't see
But then you let me down, when I look around, baby you just can't be found
Stop driving me away, I just wanna stay,
There's something I just got to say

Just try to understand
I've given all I can 'cause you got the best of me.

REPEAT CHORUS

Look what your love has done to me
Come on, baby, set me free
You just keep on pushin' my love over the borderline (borderline)
You cause me so much pain, I think I'm goin' insane
What does it take to make you see?
You just keep on pushin' my love over the borderline.

Keep pushin' me, keep pushin' me, keep pushin' my love
(You just keep on pushin' my love over the borderline, borderline)
Come on, baby, come on, darlin', Yeah
Da-da-da-da, da-da-da-da

Faking optimism in hope

2010-05-16T14:45:00.006-04:00

Look, I'm blogging! And it's going to be personal.

I want to write a really poignant blog right now, but I'm too taxed from pouring my whole heart into various letters and messages. I've lost a lot of dignity, but, through it I've honestly realized who I am as a person. And I can say that this person I've seen... is a person I really like. I may act irrationally at times. I may act on impulse and impatience. But through these flaws is a complete genuine sense of honesty, loyalty, and passion.

It's been a crazy few years with a lot of growing and changing my person around. I've had regrets in the past, but I have no regrets for the past year and a half or so. I have followed my heart. I have done what a 20 year old should be doing. This endless and lifelong debate over the difference between WANT and NEED. For me, this debate will be something I always struggle with.

I've found love through boys, through friends, through the environment I've put myself in. Some girls say that they view clothing as different costumes. I view where I live as just that. I have lived in different places and had different experiences and they each give me a different mask to wear. Yet, behind each mask is still the same old girl.

All I want out of life is love, happiness, and fun. But, everyone wants that, don't they?

I don't know where I'm going to find my happiness for the next few months. If you told me two years ago I'd be finding my life and happiness in Richmond, Virginia I would say you are full of it. I'm sure I'll be able to say that a year from now once again.

I am going to make the best of whatever happens. I am going to make the best out of whatever happens, because I want to continue my no regrets path. What happens, happens and all I can do is follow my own judgement and emotions. While tough times are tough, I know that it's not the end of the world. One day I will be whole again. Until then, I will do my best to live and let myself feel when I need to feel.

I'll get through whatever the world has in store for me. It may suck, but I know I'll be able to do it.

So. Hi. You and Sidney. Stop being so cute, because it's melting my ice cold heart and the bitter, angry things works for me, k?

2010-05-01T14:22:00.001-04:00

We'll try. It's actually all an act to get people everywhere to feel bitter. We're not in love at all.

Ask me anything

what is your fav poem ?

2010-04-30T16:07:00.001-04:00

I'm a fan of Sonnet 130 by Shakespeare, When in disgrace with fortune by Shakespeare, and two tramps in mud time by robert frost.

Ask me anything

Sonnet 130 by Shakespeare (A song)

2010-04-28T19:10:00.002-04:00

Sonnet 130

My mistress' eyes are nothing like the sun;
Coral is far more red than her lips' red:
If snow be white, why then her breasts are dun;
If hairs be wires, black wires grow on her head.
I have seen roses damask'd, red and white,
But no such roses see I in her cheeks;
And in some perfumes is there more delight
Than in the breath that from my mistress reeks.
I love to hear her speak,--yet well I know
That music hath a far more pleasing sound;
I grant I never saw a goddess go,
My mistress when she walks, treads on the ground;
And yet, by heaven, I think my love as rare
As any she belied with false compare.

The question of sex appeal

2010-03-15T13:47:00.004-04:00

Do I have it? Do the girls who would rather hang out and talk about music, pop culture, video games, and general nonsense have sex appeal? Do the girls who take less than a thought when it comes to getting ready have it?

That is a question unique to each different person, I'm sure.

Sex appeal is everywhere. I'm focusing on female sex appeal, mostly but this applies to men too. The picture of tall, slender yet toned scruffy men in magazines. Tall, slender, and curvy in just the right places (or nowhere) women all over the place.

How much sex appeal is too much and how much is not enough? There is that saying, "shake what your mamma gave ya" but... what If i just don't want to?

What If I would rather put on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt than take an hour getting ready? Sex appeal: minimal. No matter how I look those girls that walk in completely done up will get the attention. Those are the "hot girls."

Eventually every person comes to terms with who they are. I could straighten my hair, take a little longer to get ready, and buy a few less t-shirts... but, then I wouldn't be having as much fun.

It's cool to get done up once in awhile and rake in all of the attention, but after some time it just gets old. I can only giggle at what some dumb random guy is saying for so long.

A really good example is parties. Richmond Parties. Moderate amount of people: lots of dudes and the few random group of girls floating around. Where do I mingle? With the guys I stand out because, well... I'm a girl. With a lot of the girls I stand out, because, well... There's only so much you can talk about before you get to topics that just don't cross the barriers. Worldwide girl topics that you stick to: Boys, Hair, Makeup, Clothing, Jewelry, Pop music, and bad television. Now, I like all of those things... But, only for so long.

It's like in this article I read in Psychology Today. There are things about yourself you are very aware about and there are blind spots that only other people can see. Maybe I am too self-aware. Or maybe I am not at all.

Sidney Bernard Raskind

2010-03-02T08:27:00.003-05:00

My favorite man whore has decided to try and win a trip AROUND THE freaking WORLD! He needs votes, though. There is no registration required, all you have to do is just click a button. Vote and pass the link on!

http://www.worldtravelerintern.com/member/sidney-raskind/

Sincerely,
The girl friend.

Katsucon: The cons

2010-02-14T02:40:00.002-05:00

There are two things that I hate very much.

1- People who think they can dance (but they can't)
2- People who think they are funny (but they aren't)

I have encountered this quite a lot here at Katsucon. I have some advice for all of you... If you can't dance then just admit to it and have a good time. Don't go jumping into the middle of the dance circle with your 50 cent rainbow glowsticks, writhing around pretending to rave. It makes Rave a joke. Rave culture has died down a lot, but somewhere it's still going on and when you do stupid shit like that you give it a bad name. Rave can be done well and despite popular belief NO not everyone can do it.

Another thing is... I learned of a new species of sorts. I'll call it the Nerd bro. It's a special breed of guys who THINK they are cool despite adorning a full Steam Punk costume. They drink, they heckle, and they laugh at their own lame jokes. Just... no.

Musical Coma

2010-02-08T16:39:00.002-05:00

I'm in a musical coma! I've been full of song writing lately, however I can't bring myself to actually sing them. I can write them, I can find the chords to go with the lyrics, but I can't bring myself to sing them. Aloud at least... loud enough for anyone else but me to hear them.

That's not real practicing.

It's hard to do one of the things I find most personal in a place I'm not comfortable. When I'm playing music, it's for me and no one else. Back in New York, I knew my family could hear me and I didn't even like that. Yet, it was my room. My room. This is just a white box with paper thin walls and a door which doesn't do much but to conceal the eyes of what's really going on in here (most likely not much of anything).

I need to bring myself to sing out.

"if you want to sing out, sing out."

Shut it.

Please let it not BE!

2010-02-04T08:18:00.001-05:00

A... A... A GYM BRO!!

*runs away shrieking*

Unfinished

2010-01-25T17:18:00.003-05:00

I'm not quite sure how many people read this or not anymore, but either way here is an old poem of mine I found rather inspiring. And yes, that may quite possibly be conceited, but ah... nonetheless.

There's no reason to escape,
so I'm breathing in the new.

Despite our minds weak,
these hearts beat strong.

we ascend.
we ascend.
we ascend-

Into the sky that looks too blue,
with the birds that look too free.

Ignoring the doors that were once locked,
and the windows that were once shut.

Ignoring the blinds we set,
and the heat we withstood-

we descend.
we descend.
we descend-

Into hope.
Into fear.
Into this unknown familiarity.

Our busy minds cast aside,
we choose to follow that which keeps us.

That which keeps us
-in hope
-in fear
-in this unknown familiarity, soon to be further explored.

Proactive (the adjective, not the face wash)

2010-01-24T21:27:00.002-05:00

I am pretty much acting and doing things EXACTLY the opposite of how I did it at Gordon College. I've met a handful of people already, however it's hard to tell whether or not I come off completely creepy...

So it goes. The second week of school starts tomorrow.

Tuesday January 19, 2010

2010-01-19T08:14:00.002-05:00

I've been waiting for this moment for almost exactly a year. I moved into my place in Boston last year on January 17, 2009. Here I finally am at school again. A different school. Today is the first day of classes. I only have one, but tomorrow i feel is the real start. That's because tomorrow I have three classes back to back... let's see if I can get this sh*t done.

wooo collegeeeeee..... gotta make some friieeeends somehowww yeaaaaaaahhhh!

My song. of now.

2010-01-17T05:47:00.003-05:00

It's not the best, it's not the most poetic, but alas it is me. Here's the chorus of a song I'm working on. I may make a video of it, depending on how it works out on electric guitar. I've got the melody in my head- just not the actual... chords, etc.

The light of the computer-
so faint, so faint.

The slight of my pain is-
so faint, it's so faint.

I'm sitting here-
awake, awake.

Hoping and dreaming... of a better day.

Dear VCU administration,

2010-01-14T13:00:00.004-05:00

I understand that you are running a very large operation here in Richmond, Virginia. There are two campuses and 32,000 Undergraduates. I am sure that each and every one of you receive hundreds of e-mails everyday from students, staff, and others alike. It must be annoying and frustrating to have to reply to all of these e-mails filled with most likely redundant and sometimes even trivial questions whose answers could be found elsewhere.

You, however, have forgotten one imperative part of being a part of the process of high education. It's not about you. It's about us, the students. We have chosen to come here to better ourselves in multiple facets of our lives and you are here to help us do this. Answering hundreds of e-mails from students is just one of the tasks you are called to carry out. Answering our questions is not trivial. It is important. You could go as far as to call it "customer service." You must have good customer service to create a warming environment. It may be more difficult to do this at a university as large as Virginia Commonwealth, however it is not impossible.

I can assure you that not one student is here because of the pristine environment created by the administration and teachers. We are here to learn, to have fun, we are here for the diversity, for the student life, and for the people. What is one thing that all of that has in common? All of those cultures are created by US and US alone.

You have some improvements to make, Administration. I am disappointed in you, however I will do my best to truck on. If there is one thing I have learned from this experience, as well as others... it's that if you want to succeed, you can only count on yourself to make it happen. Thank you for reassuring me of this, Virginia Commonwealth Administration.

Sincerely,
Concerned V#

5 for the trip. 9 for the move. 11 for classes.

2010-01-08T10:31:00.000-05:00

It’s going to be weird dreams and little sleep until then. Probably after too. Probably until I make some friends. Probably until I go to the club fair and force myself to join one so I CAN make some friends. I may not even have a class in my major this semester :-?

The debauchery to come...

2010-01-06T12:42:00.002-05:00

I will be starting school on January 19th... that is just about two weeks away. I will be driving down to school on January 13th... that is exactly one week away.

There are many new things I will learn about. U.S. Government, Chemistery, Mass Communications and Journalism are amongst them.

Most of all... I will be learning about people. I have been around many different types of people, however the majority of my time has been spent in my home town and at a small Christian college. That doesn't give me much to go on...

Here's to future exploits with people unknown.

formspring.me

2009-12-29T20:25:00.001-05:00

i have had the biggest most massive crush on you for a couple years now. i first saw you on youtube and we became kind of friends. nothing could ever happen so i'd never tell you but i wanted to say something. dont respond.

I responded! AHH.

Ask me anything

D-Day(?) A blog.

2009-12-26T23:31:00.004-05:00

T-24 days until school starts.

I remember the first day at Gordon College so clearly.

I was so nervous. Huge ass butterflies flying around my stomach... not to mention the extreme need to pee. A large line of cars wrapped around the campus. Filled with new students, the cars slowly moved forward one by one as each person got all of their orientation information. As we passed by the Student center, I RAN out to use the bathroom. Peeing was pure Heaven after not being allowed to stop (orders from my brother, the chauffeur). As I left the Student center I looked to my right, hoping my brother would not be too far off. I ran down and got back into the car, awaiting my fait... or rather, my orientation packet.

Everyone was so nice and welcoming, as they efficiently helped me with my stuff up to my room so they could continue to the next person as they arrived.

Looks can be deceiving. Gordon College started out well, and ended in shit. Maybe, it'll be the opposite at Virginia Commonwealth. It'll be a bit hard at first, trying to get back into the swing of things- taking notes, doing work, making friends... but then, hopefully things will fall into place. Hopefully, I fall into place at VCU.

The Christmas Loot (woot)

2009-12-25T14:36:00.003-05:00

For Nintendo DSi-

Kingdom Hearts 2

Pokemon Platinum

Mario and Luigi: Bowser's inside story

Scribblenauts handbook

Serenity Collector's edition DVD

Barnes and Nobles Gift Certificate

One awesomely heartfelt and rather artistic card from my sister, as well as a black spray painted cigar box with a cheetah on the top

Some cute magnetic bookmarks and little snowmen stackable pencils

And most of all... drum roll please... bahdabahdabahdabahdabahdabahdabahdabahdaaa

The new 8GB MinoHD Flipcam :-DDD

A blog for the fashionless

2009-12-23T19:55:00.004-05:00

Warning: No American Apparel, Lookbook.nu, or the perfect mess of hair past this point.

I've noticed as of late that fashion is becoming more and more popular. There's been some kind of revival to expressing yourself via your clothing. Networking websites like www.lookbook.nu make it possible to showcase your ideas, style, and even your own designs (for the aspiring fashion designer). The store American Apparel has also become a huge player in this "fashionista age." With mostly unisex clothing and quite plain designs, American Apparel lets you be the stylist by allowing you to mix and match pieces so you can create your own looks.

This movement of expression through your everyday clothes is almost the antithesis of couture, however. Glance through certain popular magazines like Nylon or Glamour and you'll notice a trend in all of the put together looks in their Fashion&Style section. They are the exact opposite of that... NOT put together! Mismatching patterns, a ripped pair of tights, dirty worn in boots, and lots of layers. This fad has led us back to our roots. Our own Digital generation has drifted back to eras long gone by shopping in thrift stores and wearing hand-me downs. Stores like Urban Outfitters and Free People even strive to look more vintage and worn in, as to roll with the times. It seems as though everything does come full circle.

Polaroid: abercrombie & fitch jeans, forest green converse, navy long sleeve "thermal/waffleshirt " with small yellow flowers all over it, and what I like to call a "slouchy hat" (to hide an abundant stream of curly hair).

I've never been one that was too concerned with fashion. I like to look good, however I'd rather spend my time and money on things like... graphic novels, comics, and video games. I like to think that I'm not the only one out there who would rather be consumed in the little fantasy world making music or being on the computer brings than thinking about what I'm going to wear. I am amidst the age of a new and unique fashion revival, yet it is completely passing me by. Every now and then I start to feel like I am missing that part of my brain that says get out of bed and put something together that doesn't involve a pair of dirty jeans.

Polaroid: dark brown uggs, that same pair of stained jeans, long sleeve grey shirt, and that good ol' "slouchy hat" (to hide the abundant stream of curly hair).

I'm all for a good fad. There's nothing like something new and exciting to make you completely different, yet just like everyone else... but, for the first time I'm embracing FREEDOM! Not showering everyday, taking ways under an hour to get ready, and glancing into my closet and just hopping into what happens to catch my eye and... doesn't look half bad. And most of the time it's that same pair of jeans... that same comfy cardigan, one of my favorite t-shirts, and that good ol' slouchy hat.

This is my style. Take it or leave it I am a jeans and t-shirt girl. I'd rather spend my money on books, and my time playing video games or watching daytime television. And while I may not be apart of this new movement, I accept it. Now more than ever, it is a call for difference. It is a call for showcasing who you are and not who corporations want you to be.

So, live on thrifting and lookbook! I'll be just over there... most likely... doin'... not much of anything.

(no hipsters were harmed in the writing of this blog)

Damn yo hobbies!

2009-12-20T19:20:00.004-05:00

I have hobbies.

a) the internet

b) comics, graphic novels, and the occasional novel (or so it has become)

c) dancing

d) ukulele

e) Writing & even the occasional drawing

f) Video games

g) Television/Movies

I enjoy many a things, however those I feel are the most prominent. How many hobbies can one person have?

I want to pick up:

h) photography (to better my ability to use a camera technically and therefore artistically)

i) some type of REAL instrument (Acoustic guitar, electric guitar, bass... I haven't decided)

With school and a job and hopefully a life, how much time will I have for ANY of these things let alone the things I want to pick up? I'm already mediocre at all of the hobbies I already have, how many more things do I want to be mediocre at?

Don't you ever wish that you could be more single minded? I do! Damn me and my interests! I wish I could just focus on getting better at ONE thing. If I could do that, then maybe I wouldn't need so many mediums to express myself. I just don't know If i can.

Frustration! GRRR.

The Possibility of Australia

2009-12-18T04:00:00.005-05:00

If I want to travel, Study Abroad is a really good option. Australia is the only place VCU offers that would cost the same tuition as VCU and I wouldn't have to worry about "staying a VCU student" if i choose to go to another school that wasn't in the exchange program. (Plus, I wouldn't have to know another language-hah, I mean i love it, but I'm not proficient in italian or russian sorry to say)

I would also be able to take classes in my major! The only thing is there are a few things that I need to think about when applying:

1- would they accept a transfer student?

2- I need to keep my grades above 2.75 to even be considered

3- WHEN should I go?!

4- Would I be able to go when I have only upper level courses left to do? (At VCU you need to have a certain amount of upper levels in your major taken at VCU in order to graduate)

5- I would have to get IN to the program!

I guess the big thing I would have to worry about is the application process, but I would get it done and I know that. And there is the WHEN should i go...

I don't want to be completely unattached from VCU. I want to have a life there. I want to have friends in Richmond. If i study abroad I am away for a whole semester. I want to be at VCU for awhile before I go away. So when I go away for a semester everyone doesn't just forget about me. I need to have friends before I go away so this doesn't happen... (because that would suck).

There are two things I really want to do a- Have a life at VCU and in Richmond and b-travel. Now, I just need to figure out how to make those two things work together.

I've figured it out.

2009-12-16T00:13:00.002-05:00

I've figured out the recipe for families.

They know your buttons and they somehow always come about to push them over and over and over again.

I, uh... guess that's how it's meant to be, eh?

Decisions, Decisions, Decisions

2009-12-10T09:48:00.002-05:00

Before I had to go through registering for classes my one thought was that I am going to finish school as fast as I can and enjoy it as much as I can.

As time goes on I'm seeing that it's going to be a little harder than I thought...

I have pre-requisites and Gen eds I have to finish, plus an entire major to start from scratch.

Advisors aren't much help. At such a big school, I guess it's understandable that you have to worry and care about yourself because absolutely no one else in the administration does. It'd help a lot of if one of them could get back to me so I could figure out my plan for the next few years.

I want to be able to travel and screw around and I thought that I could only do that after school, but maybe the most convenient thing would be to stay IN school and work around that schedule.

I don't know... we'll just have to see. If only my freaking advisor would get back to me!!!!!!!!!!

Agh.

Spring Semester

2009-12-07T13:40:00.003-05:00

Next semester is going to be really trying. I am going to be in 7 classes, 6 of which are Gen eds that aren't quite up my alley. I have no choice, though If I want to start my major courses come next fall.

As of now I'm enrolled in:

U.S. Government

Chemistry & Society

Choices in Consumer Society

Texts & Contexts: Dante

Introduction to Economics

I still have to over-ride a filled course or two and get into Statistics and a Mass Comm class.

I feel like I should talk to my advisor again (even though she absolutely does not care about me since she is coordinating with thousands of other students) because I am going to be inundated with work I don't understand. If I can take some of these courses in the summer, I think I should wait.

O.k... now to e-mail her.

Wish me luck for this semester :-I !

Dream Jobs

2009-12-01T20:52:00.003-05:00

Let's be realistic... I don't have a lot to show for my skills, right now. If I was to be thrown out into the job market today I could probably find a job, but only because I seem to get lucky with these things. I need to improve my skills, but I can only do that If i really think about what I may want to do one day.

1-Camera operator

It would be awesome to be a camera operator for a documentary-style show. Something like on TLC or Discovery.

2-Director

I love having a hand in everything and I think I'm good at it, but I'm certainly no where near where I would have to be if I want to go full time.

3-Producer

4-Media coordinator for companies

There are tons and tons of companies out there trying to get in touch with the public these days and they don't know how. Companies ALL OVER need people who know medias like the internet.

5-Journalist... LIKE person?

Haha, I don't know.. I don't want to be a journalist, but I respect what they do. I want to be able to put the truth out there whether it's in video form or writing.

6-My voice

I don't know what I want to do. I just know that I have opinions and thoughts that I want to share with the world in some way. I just need to find how I can do that.

As of now here are the skills I need to GREATLY improve upon:

1-Still Camera Work. I have my mothers Nikon from the 70's and I have to work on that until I have an opportunity to get a Digital SLR. In the long run it would save me money to go digital, rather than spending money on Film (As much as I love the art of analog). Once I'm completely comfortable with still photography it'll make it WORLDS easier to fully operate a video camera.

2-Writing

3-Dancing (Just for fun... because I love it... and because I miss it dearly)

4- I need to continue to make videos while I'm in school... even If I'm not a in the BFA program.

HOMELESS!!

2009-11-30T12:56:00.003-05:00

I hope I get an e-mail from the housing department of VCU sooner than later, because it's getting scary close to when I start school and I have yet to know where I'm living. They said I should get it within the next 2 weeks...

If I don't get housing then I'm going to have to find randoms to live with from Craigslist. I'm fine with it, but I'm going to have to enlist boy toy to go look at the apartments.

MWAHAHAHAHA!

Now to annoy the woman who asked me to make up a website for her. She never responded to the reply e-mail I sent a week ago and I need to be persistent If I really want to get a job with her offices in Richmond.

Resolutions

2009-11-29T20:17:00.001-05:00

It's that time of year... or almost that time of year.

I'm already thinking about what my new years resolutions will be because I have so many things I want to change. I'm only going to stick to two very doable ones though.

1-I will be more Frugal

2-I will eat better.

People, Animals, Things, and Fictional Characters that are kind of alone and mostly o.k. with it

2009-11-20T11:44:00.009-05:00

1- Rory Gilmore (when she's in yale)

2- Wall-E

3- Robert Neville (but that isn't really the best example... He kind of dreams about having sex with vampires and drinks himself into stupors)

4- Jimmy Kudo (from the manga Case Closed. I mean... he has the professor man, but that's the only person that really knows it's him inside that kid body)

5- Horton the Elephant (He's was all alone when it came to protecting that lil clover... but then the he becomes friends with the entire jungle and the who world in the end)

6-Mark (from rent) He has all those great friends, but ends up isolating himself

7-Basically everyone from Spring Awakening (their whole society was messed up basically forcing them into isolation from each other and who they really were as people)

8-Chunky Rice and Dandel (from Good-bye, Chunky Rice) They have each other but then Chunky Rice has to move on. At least they miss each other together. That's kind of sweet.

9-Steve (Blue's Clues) I mean, really... all of his 'friends' are dogs or pieces of furniture. I'd say that qualifies him as alone.

10-Michael Jackson

11-Pocahantes (she has a whole tribe moves to a different world, only of her kind and then... dies)

12-Asterios Polyp

13-Leonard (Memento) I mean... he's not o.k. with being alone. He lost the love of his life. But none the less he goes on.

14-Spartacus (the movie. if you haven't seen it... watch it now)

15-Great White sharks

16-Rocks

17-Beta Fish (even though the males do make the bubble nests even when there is no girl around)

18-Giant Panda (they're UUBER aggressive and live in isolation)

19-Max Head Room

20-Tyler Durden/Narrator (Fight Club)

21- Judas Iscariot (I mean... he had all the disciples and Jesus and then betrayed them. Good going, Asshole)

Nobody reads the long ones

2009-11-20T08:54:00.007-05:00

I'm alone. I'm fucking alone and that's just how it is. It's how it's going to be for awhile, and I just have to deal with it. Until then... if there even is a then, I'm just going to smoke a cigarette and cower in bed with the blankets over my head.

Not at the same time, though. That would be dangerous.

Alphabet Survey (I'm a sucker for 'em)

2009-11-18T23:41:00.002-05:00

A
- Available: nope
- Age: 20
- Annoyances: disloyalty, mouth breathers, fake people
- Afternoons or mornings: Uh... probably mornings because I get really tired in the afternoon

B
- Best Friend: Don't have one
- Beer: Why not.
- Birthday: August 27
- Best month: October or November (because it's the peak of fall!)
- Best day: Friday

C
- Crush: I mean, there are some celeb "crushes" possibly
- Candy: Laffy Taffy and the occasional peace of frozen dark chocolate
- Colour: Don't have a favorite
- Chocolate or Vanilla: vanilla
- Criminal Record: None.

D
- Day or Night: It depends. I hate being tired at night, but I love staying up.
- Dream Vehicle: Just a nice sturdy peace a junk. aka VOLKSWAGEN BUS! YUSSS.
- Dream: To be happy and successful

E
- Easiest Person To Talk To: ... I don't know.
- Eggs: With cheese and some toast, thanks.
- End of the line: what about it?

F
- First Crush: A little boy in nursery school. I always put my naptime mat next to his. he had brown hair and bowl cut
- Fuck vs Feck: FUCK
- Fave piece of clothing: Just a nice comfy t-shirt
- Fave song atm: well I've been singing a buddy holly song for the past hour "it doesn't matter anymore"
- Future: college, move to either san fran, boston, or vancouver/toronto, get a job, go to grad school.

G
- Gummy Bears or Gummy Worms: Gummy bears :-D FRIENDS. (<3@violentservent style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; ">- Giver or Taker: I'm a giver, but I also like to take. It's all about the thought.
- Greatest moment in life: Realizing I'm great at something
- Gold or Silver: Both!

H
- Hair: it does what it wants. CRAZY CURLS.

- Happy: I tend to be a happy person. Sad sometimes, yes. but I tend to find my way out of holes.
- Hat: those slouchy ones. such a great cure for a bad hair day. the hot pink one is my favvv :-)
- Hugs: Only by people I'm comfortable with, but then YES absolutely!!

I
- Ice Cream: Green Tea (but only the really sugary stuff, not the natural kind. Bonsai has the BEST)
- Instrument: Ukulele
- Is there anything you would tell yourself 3 years ago: DON'T GO TO GORDON COLLEGE!!!
- Invisible for a Day: Yes, please. I'd probably just sit in a park or something and observe. I'd be too scared to spy on my friends and loved ones.

J
- Jewellry : my rings.
- Job: None right now, but when I start school I'm going to look for one.
- Jeans: my ripped pair that I got from a friend. they're so old and stained!

K
- Kids: hahah no. not yet. no no no. one day.
- King for the day: I'd declare my birthday national bear hug day.

L
- Lie ins: ... what?
- Longest Car Ride: I'm not sure... probably when I was 12/13 and I drove to Oregon from NY with my sister
- Life: Yup... life.

M
- Milk Flavor: I'll just take the original milk flavor, thanks.
- Music: yes yes yes, please.

N
- Number Of Siblings: 2
- Number : 27
- Note to self: Don't sweat the small stuff.

O
- One Wish: Oh, pish posh in wishes. You make what you want come true. Hopes and wishes mean crap.
- One Phobia: pregnant bellies.
- One song: one song glory from Rent (adam pascal forgetting the words all the time kind of ruins it for me though)
- One love: I'm not sure.

P
- Part Of Your Personality That You Like: I'm very driven
- Physical Feature on yourself you like: Hm... my smile? Such a cop out answer, though. I'm not sure.
- Physical Feature on opposite sex you like: it changes. I tend to like forearms for some reason.

Q
- Quick or Slow: slow
- Queen for the day: sure

R
Reason 2 Smile: Honestly, right now it's because I'm proud of myself.
Reason 2 Cry: Eh. Crying shmrying.
Rolos vs Refreshers: .... neither? I don't really know what either of those are, really...

S
Song You Last Heard: buddy holly "you won't matter anymore" like i said... i've been playing it.
Song You Are Hearing: some background song for the show Cake Boss

T
- Tattoo: I have 3 and have others in mind, but won't get any for a long time.
- Time Now: 12:00 AM exactly
- Time For Bed: when I'm feeling all cozy in bed and am too tired to wait through commercials lol
- Time of Birth: I don't remember.. sometime around 1-3 in the afternoon or something
- Treat: piece of frozen dark chocolate or raspberry sorbet

U
- Useless: your mom
- Unusual: me, I guess.
- Umbrella or hood: hoody poo.

V
- Vegetable You Hate: don't really really hate any. I stand tomatoes.
- Vegetable You Love: green peppers or carrots... does corn count?
- Vertigo: never had it. makes me think of arrested development. i hate the song.

W
- Worst Habits: hm... I let laundry build up when I'm at home.
- Worst Day: a few come to mind.
- Worst Person: hahah a lot come to mind, but "worst person" is quite harsh.
- Worst thing you own: a lot of things.
- Why?: fjdsal;fjsdkla;fds

X
- X-Rays: in my eyes preferably. anywhere else and it would be useless to have xray vision. xray vision butt LAWL. Ok.
- Xylophone: I want one to play with.

Y
- Year It Is Now: 2009 but soon 2010 (CRAZY)
- Yellow: I rather like that color but it doesn't look to good on me.

Z
- Zoo Animal: Elephants and cool furry things.
- Zodiac Sign: Leo/Virgo cusp

The only verdict. The best verdict.

2009-11-14T14:26:00.003-05:00

Sitting on my bed, I glanced out the window as the rain began to drizzle down. Heavier and heavier the rain fell, and It strangely made me happy. I felt warm inside as I thought of how it reminded me of Virginia.

(and then I thought, what the heck... why am I saying that about VIRGINIA of all places?)

It's because of the possibilities. I've been living through only dreams of all of the possibilities for my life this past year. That isn't living at all. At what point am I going to stop dreaming of what path to take, and actually start living my life?

I've been stagnant despite my absolute focus solely on getting into school and learning the craft I want to pursue.

Things have changed, and I have to roll with it, because I'm sick of not living my life.

In a few weeks I'm going to get a letter saying that my application for the pre-requisite to Photography and Film-BFA was denied. I'll probably cry, but I'll get over it. Because I need to start doing something. Whatever it is.

On January 13th I'll be moving down to Richmond, Virginia so in (at the most) 3 years time I'll have a degree. What comes after that? I have no idea.

And now, how many times have I said that this year?

Gordon College was the worst decision of my young life.

2009-11-13T22:06:00.003-05:00

I hate that I've been forced to doubt my decisions again.

I had VCU in the bag. Everything so perfectly on the horizon. It's only my fault, however. I overlooked one small, yet extremely defining detail between the Cinema-BA and Photography and Film-BFA majors.

I've fought so hard this past year to figure out what I want to do with my life and where I want to be. I figured it out and was finally so confident with where I was going to be and what I was going to be doing... and now, I'm lost.

The nutshell is this: shit shit shit blah blab blah I can't be a film major sob sob sob tears sob.

Exhibit A- Another Kristen "what the fuck am I going to do" freak out moment x2

Being a Journalism/Broadcasting major means NOTHING to me without that Photography and Film-BFA right there next to it.

But, what it comes down to is... time. Time and responsibility. I have to get my degree.
... and I'll have no more of this applying to schools at almost 21, already years behind. I'll have no more of living at home- any longer would be unbearable. Leaving NY Film Academy not an option as I would have no time to have a job to pay for an apartment/living expenses while attending there.

I'm absolutely fucked. But at least in about 3 years I'll be absolutely fucked with a Bachelor of Sciences degree in Journalism/Broadcasting from Virginia Commonwealth University. That's all I can do.

Truth.

2009-11-11T07:49:00.003-05:00

Going to Gordon College was the biggest mistake of my life. Leaving it was, too.

Oh, well. I go on. We'll see what happens, now...

shit.

Well, I lied. Didn't I, now?

2009-11-01T17:48:00.006-05:00

I feel an affinity for you, blogspot and I will not abandon you.

It's called glorious inspiration...

Or rather, just something kind of cool that came out of a colormekristen eeeeemmmmo0 moment... yupp.

I don't know her name yet, but she's rad. And I'm excited to start writing.

It's most certainly not going to be any kind of Nanowrimo novel... More of a mixed media piece. I don't want to give away too much, because I have no idea where it's going to head.

You're going to want to get lost with her. I kind of want to get lost with her already.

I'm being kind of creepy about this character I've dreamed up, aren't I? I guess it's kind of an alter ego.

Happy writing, everyone. It's November 1.

I'm converting

2009-10-28T21:55:00.001-04:00

To tumblr.

I'll be posting whatever links and photos, etc. I think is funny, as well as blogging over here:
http://www.colormekristen.tumblr.com

Hope to see you there :-)

Girls and Romance. No... Women and Romance.

2009-10-22T09:56:00.010-04:00

I find it quite interesting that no matter how diverse a group of women could be... there is one thing that they all have in common. Every one of them wants to be swept off their feet.

I may be generalizing here, but no one wants to be in control 100% of the time. Those images of fairy tales and old fashioned tradition, they're all just dreams from another time. I'm pretty confident, however, that each woman still dreams of being on the receiving end of some romance every now and again.

It's funny to think about some bitchy girl and think, hey... she just wants to be swept off her feet too.

It's of like calling security guards "sparkles (http://www.asofterworld.com/)." Demeaning people in your mind kind of takes the power away from them. I guess that what "imagining them naked" is supposed to do.

This is my internet story.

2009-10-19T08:03:00.007-04:00

This is why I am so adverse to the internet as of late.
... and by as of late I mean for about a year or more, now.

I have a love/hate relationship to the internet. I got started on youtube one extremely boring summer before I went to college. I had absolutely nothing to do so I wasted away the hours in which my friends were busy by watching videos. A month or so down the line... I figured out that there was a community. So, I began making videos.

I thought those people were so cool. Yes, people like Charlieissocoollike and Funnypranks.

I made videos despite my low subscriber count. As most people are in the beginning, I was obsessed with getting more subscribers. Hurt when people unsubscribed and secretly ecstatic when people did subscribe. I cared a bit too much.

The community was AMAZING! When everyone was on stickam talking, making new friends. I'm sure that is still around somewhere, but once that faded my interest went along with it.

People get sucked in by that website. It can be a good thing or a bad thing. It is what you make it. For me, I see how much it can turn into high school. People fighting to be known, to make other people think their cool so they're sub counts can go up.

That's so pathetic and I don't want to be a part of that. I don't want to be one of those people worrying about whether or not some strangers across the world think something you posted on your twitter, dailybooth, tumblr, or youtube page is cool.

I love meeting new people and making new friends, but not in a completely superficial way which I feel all of these "social networking" websites can become.

So henceforth, I have distanced myself from the internet. I still talk to people I know, make new friends here and there... but not with as much fervor I as I used to. Don't get me wrong, friends... It's just for the simple fear that I will get sucked in, again. I spent a long time becoming more confident, with the help of youtube, no doubt. And I just don't want to go back.

I can find a better way to share my ideas with the world.

In a nutshell... that is my love/hate relationship with the internet.

Viriginia Commonwealth University

2009-10-14T07:42:00.002-04:00

People keep on asking me, "You're not going to VCU just because of your boyfriend, right?"

I respond, "no." and give my reasons. But no one believes you despite their knowledge of you as a person and whatever backed up bullet points you list for why you do want to go to VCU.

All I can do is think to myself... everyone is going to think that. All that matters is if I'm happy. And I couldn't be happier with my decision.

This decision was more about me than any other decision ever has been. Nobody could realize that as much as I could when I got the big envelope from VCU with the "2010 accepted student packet."

I'll admit it... I cried. I cried out of freaking happiness. Really, Kristen? Really? So much rides on this. This is my life. This is my second chance to be 20 and not screw it up. This is my second chance to go to school and learn about what I love. To make friends.

AND OH BOY will I make friends. I'm going to do my work and be the best effing student you've ever seen. Taking a year off, whether it was pleasant or not... was most likely a good thing.

And if people think I'm weak and shallow enough to go to school just for some boy... than so be it. Because I know I made the right decision. I'm fucking rad.

Funny nerd stuff.

2009-10-08T19:33:00.004-04:00

If I had a tumblr... I'd post this there. But seeing as I am quite incapable of figuring out how to work tumblr... I will post this here. And, yes... I was going to blog about my life... but I thought this was better, ya know? Short and sweet.

The man.

2009-09-16T09:18:00.003-04:00

I'm learning what it is to "work for the man." Everyone has a boss they must attend to and make happy.

I've had a wide range of jobs- from babysitting to being an administrative assistant. Most of the time in the work world you are not in charge. You do what your boss says and if they don't like your work... you have to do better or you're out of there for good. Sometimes you have to shut up and swallow your pride in order to keep in good favor of the higher ups.

That's no different in the film world. I've only been involved with a couple of pieces wherein it wasn't just my peers I had to work in cooperation with. When it's your peers it's a little easier to persuade and coax them to your ideas for the piece... and if it's not then you just try your best to swallow your pride and work for the greater good of the film.

It's just a lot harder to swallow being shut down or told what to do... when it's coming from someone of authority. From someone you have no choice but to address them with, "Oh, o.k. Of course. I'll do that right away."

Film is a creative outlet. It's a lot harder to compromise something that comes from within you, from inspiration.

So when the higher ups don't get what you're trying to do... you try and explain. You try and explain it in the nicest and politest way possible without coming off condescending. If they're still not having it... well, then you're just screwed.

You're left feeling stupid and just a little embarrassed.

You put on that fake smile and you do what they want. And then all is right with the world.

Needless to say... I don't like working for the man.

A mere ponderance... and yes, I made up that word.

2009-09-12T15:26:00.004-04:00

You can "internet" with the least amount of brain power. You can talk to people and interact "socially" through comments on dailybooth, twitter, youtube... even with the slightest bit of "WOO HOO!" in you.

Have you noticed that? It's kind of strange, I guess. I wonder how that will change the way we interact in the future. We sit here by ourselves on our computers supposedly "interacting" yet we have the same face when we say LOL or ;-(.

Internet face. permanent internet face...

*rubs chin and ponders*

To whom it may concern:

2009-09-01T09:43:00.001-04:00

I hate bad timing. I hate hate hate hate hate it.
Love, Kristen

Your footprint.

2009-08-22T10:12:00.003-04:00

Last night I saw a horrible horrible horrible play in the Fringe festival. The play was about youtube, and at one point the act replays silently while the director gives commentary. The commentary had absolutely nothing to do with explaining what was going on (which I really wish she did) it was more about herself. She even talked about a silent auction in which she won a box of gossip girl books.

She did, however, raise one good point.

We remember people from the past from physical things we find. Diaries, maps, pictures, postcards. As things are changing people are using physical things such as diaries to express themselves less and less. We are gravitating more towards our computers and the internet to express ourselves. If the digital age is only going to continue to grow than our footprint will be larger and more accessible than that of people from the 1800's or beforehand.

But what if thousands of years in the future... our blogs, youtube channels, facebooks... our footprints aren't there? Will you still have a mark on the world?

This scares me. I have my blogs, my pictures, a lot of my life up on the internet. I do this so I can remember a funny moment with a friend, or something I was thinking through. But what happens if all of this isn't around thousands of years or even just hundreds of years from now?

Will anything we did matter? Will anything we created matter?

Thinking through all of this makes me want to start a journal rather than a blog. However, what is great about computers is that you can get your thoughts out so much quicker than you can when you write them.

Another reason why I am starting to gravitate towards starting ... or continuing many of the unfinished journals i have... is because I started this blog to inspire and create conversation... and I don't really think it does that.

So from now on I'm leaving my personal inquiries and thoughts to myself and my paper. I'll use this blog for things I find funny or any creative writing I am comfertable enough to post. Once I can figure out tumblr I might just switch over to that...

Let me know what you think about our "footprint."

Ridonculous.

2009-08-19T10:59:00.011-04:00

My desktop is ridiculous right now. I save pictures that I like or think are funny, and it just takes up space on my computer and I will most likely never look at them again...

So, because I can't figure out how to work Tumblr... I am going to purge all of the pictures on my desktop into one blog.

This is the most random conglomerate of pictures you will ever see. It's a combination of things I've found on the internet, things I've stolen from other people that I liked, funny screen caps from movies, and things I've made.

Enjoy... or don't enjoy. Whaateeever (I said that like dwaine from full house).

Start it.

2009-08-16T12:03:00.001-04:00

To-do To-do To-do

2009-08-13T11:16:00.002-04:00

1- Apply to Kyocera's All Access Documentary contest

2-Figure out when to "re-activate" my application to VCU because I ultimately failed and didn't apply early enough to get in this fall.

3-Think up some back up plans for my education if I don't get in for the Spring.

4-Figure out when and where I would like to travel

5-Crunch some numbahs for the trip

6-Beg mom and dad to return my birthday present and give me the money instead. As well, to fast track my Christmas money?

7- Do the same to Grandma Diane?

8- Do some freaking laundry already!!!

This is my life...
I turn 20 in two weeks. I have absolutely no Idea where all of this will take me.

Leaving Gordon College may have been the biggest mistake of my life if I don't keep on actively pursuing my goals. I want an education, I want friends, I want to go somewhere. I want a life.

I should have given up on Gordon so quickly. But now that all is said and done, I need to make this time worth something. It's just going to be a mistake unless I do something with this year, and can strive fowards with wherever I decide to continue my education next.

Where should I travel this fall? Where should I go on a less than $4,000 budget that could be mind blowing and inspiring?

It's going to happen. My only other options are "smart," "Be prepared" ones and after all the shit that has happened this past year I'm ready to say "Fuck it." and do what I've wanted to do since the moment I deferred from Gordon.

So to everyone who comes across this blog... Where do I go?

There is no title for this here bloggy poo.

2009-08-02T10:46:00.006-04:00

It's timeeeee forrrrr...

THE COLORMEKRISTEN GUESSING GAME!!!!

I am currently-
a) Extremely hungry... but too nauseous to eat.
b) Extremely tired... but can't sleep.

WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME? PUT YOUR GUESSES IN THE COMMENTS!

*bonus alphabetical letters*

I am also...
c) watching an episode of 16 and pregnant Unseen moments from season 1 (so freaking good)
d) wanting my stupid (and by stupid I mean absolutely lovely) boyfriend to wake up and callll meeeeee :-)

Please?

2009-07-29T09:27:00.002-04:00

I'd like to press the pause button of this summer of mine.

The first one was SO funny.

2009-07-26T20:52:00.003-04:00

My life is just one big fail isn't it.

(It makes me feel better to be unnecessarily dramatic)

A brief interruption

2009-07-25T00:42:00.004-04:00

I'm pausing episode 5 of my 30 episode Korean teen soap opera to tell all of you lovely people of the majesty that is bootleg subbed television online.

As I'm watching this show things like this pop up! I found it quite amusing, so I wanted to share it.

I just want to know... Do the people making these subtitles actually think I don't already know these things? I guess it's safe to assume that a lot of the people watching these shows are pretty mindless... then again I'm watching this show, so I better not judge to harshly...

The one that amuses me most is the last one, "Homegirl got some major issues." What I love about it is not only the statement alone, but the fact that the person who said it is most likely some 16 year old little Korean girl with a little gangstahh flair. Oh gosh, so many different stories are coming to mind.

I need to not read those extra subtitles because I keep on getting distracted. I get all side tracked and start thinking about what kind of person wrote that, what are they like, etc. etc.

If you didn't catch it before the show is called, Boys Before Flowers, and I would definitely recommend it!

There is little to no point for you to exist, blog.

2009-07-22T09:41:00.004-04:00

But, I'll write here anyway...
Because I need to complain just for a bit...
At least before I go back to "It's going to be o.k.," Kristen.

I have some advice for you, kiddies. Don't ever apply to schools late because it makes things a real bitch. The following happens:

1-You don't get the major you want and have to wait until the following year to apply for it (giving you one more fantastic not to mention extra year to stay in college)
2-They don't have any more campus housing available (forcing you to some how find a place to live in Richmond, VA all the way from NY)

Oh, and have I mentioned I haven't even gotten INTO the school, yet? They haven't even received my transcripts which were sent from Massachusetts on Friday. THEN they have to process and review my application.

I decided to change my major to Mass Communications, B.S. with a concentration in PR. I have to choose a second major for when I apply to the school of the arts as a Cinema, B.A. so I figured I might as well get a head start because NO WAY am I just taking my gen-eds for the next year all at once (all I have left are sciences and maths).

I know it's all going to work out somehow in the end... It's just going to be a lot more difficult getting there. Not having on campus housing, and not being in the major I want is going to make it hell of a lot more difficult to make friends down there.

If I could sum up this blog in one sentence for all of the people which just quickly skim my blog it would be, "This fucking sucks, but I know it'll be o.k... hopefully?"

Hi. (school and a poem) HoOray!

2009-07-18T22:40:00.003-04:00

I feel like I'm a senior in high school again... Having a school you want to get into, calling all the time to see if they've received your latest bundle of paperwork, and worst of all waiting to see if you got in at all.

I feel so helpless. All I can do right now is wait to make sure VCU has received my transcripts, and then wait for them to tell me whether or not I've gotten in for the Fall or Spring semester. It would be a miracle if I got in for the Fall semester, but that's what I'm hoping for. I know it's unbearably unrealistic... Even If i did get in for the fall I would have maybe about two weeks to find a place to live, pack, get everything I need (most likely including a bed and furniture for my room), and register for classes.

If I don't get in for the fall I'm going to have to continue looking for a job, and possibly not go until the following year since the film school doesn't accept Spring applicants. I'm most likely not going to graduate until I'm 25, unless I pick up a few summer courses next year.

I just wish I could DO something right now!! It's the waiting game that everyone dreads. I'm going to try and pre-occupy myself with video games and movies. The goal I still haven't fulfilled for the summer is to watch more movies. I've been reading more, but have yet to "pursue more ideas."

I swear on it I will start carrying my nikon around with me!! I got a smaller purse so I wouldn't be some huge pack horse with my messenger bag and a nikon around my neck.

I'm going to skateboard too! It'll be a great way to get around campus. Most of it's flat from what I've seen, so I just need a little practice so I'm absolutely confindent that I wouldn't run anyone over riding around the pathways.

I'm scared to death try this whole college thing over again. I've already made the decision though and there's no turning back. What I'm most afraid of usually turns out to be the most rewarding, and that's one of the reasons why I chose VCU.

All I can do is occupy my time for the next few weeks :-/

Here's a poem I wrote about a month ago:

The undignified pain of someone lost:
Unwavering and steadfast-

Much like the heroine we have yet to meet, here-

Here where the shadows lie beneath half-shattered stones,
As If someone was trying to break through-
Through to the vibrant purple stories inside.

Let us call it the tremble-
The point you dream of reaching when you’re experiencing…

The undignified pain of someone lost:
Unwavering and steadfast.

-The point right before fate has made its decision.

The tremble-
As you take that continuing breathe- you tremble.
For underneath you is your changing line.

A crux was never meant to be easily tamed-
And your missing heroine can attest.

Pure Magic (or most likely vague answers...)

2009-06-17T18:55:00.002-04:00

www.TwittaScope.com freaking knows my soul!

I swear, every single time I read my horoscope it is completely on point. WTH (Haha, I just almost typed out that all of "wth" rather than using internet lingo abrev... What is wrong with me?!)

That's all I have to say for now. peace?

Summer To-Do Part 2:

2009-06-12T00:15:00.003-04:00

I totally made that rhyme on purpose.

8- Improve upon my communication skills (Oi vey, is that true)

Or maybe it's just forever apart of the somewhat nerdy awkward package?

Only time will tell, my friends...

I think it's time to do something creative.

2009-06-09T15:36:00.003-04:00

I've completely lost sight of my goal this summer to become less passive and create more. I can't go on piercing things and getting tattoos out of boredum. I need to do something real.

Here's my summer to-do:

1-Watch more classic movies and films
2-Read more (watch less t.v.)
3-Stay Active
4-Be Healthy
5-Pursue and follow through with ideas rather than just thinking about them
6-Apply and Visit colleges
7-Apply to a community college to take Gen-eds

There are oh so many more lists I need to make for the summer filled with fun things I would like to do, but that list up there is my number 1.

What are your summer to-do lists?
LET'S GET 'ER DONE!

A Haiku (by Jack Kerouac)

2009-06-08T19:59:00.003-04:00

The little worm
lowers itself from the roof
by a self shat thread

yawns ... stretches ... curls up in bed

2009-05-31T10:14:00.007-04:00

On this oh so groggy Sunday morning, what else is there to do but post a picture of satanic gummy bears and a poem about prostitution?

Ironic Poem About Prostitution

by George Orwell

When I was young and had no sense
In far-off Mandalay
I lost my heart to a Burmese girl
As lovely as the day.

Her skin was gold, her hair was jet,
Her teeth were ivory;
I said, "for twenty silver pieces,
Maiden, sleep with me".

She looked at me, so pure, so sad,
The loveliest thing alive,
And in her lisping, virgin voice,
Stood out for twenty-five.

We stray

2009-05-27T11:56:00.001-04:00

The news of tomorrow isn’t far away,
So let’s dose do on the sidelines
until our fate arrives.

The dictionary says our futures are blown by just us,
But through the glass you joke differently.

A separate taste from that which I know-
The pugnacious smell of attempted approval:
through that joint lost smile and our refusal to be beaten,
or so it seems our disconnect.

Inspired by fear,
United in conflict we stand.

We stand-
together, laying, separate, and then back again.
Too apart for my skin!

Too apart for my skin, so I dance.
An intermission to our trying battle- the hope of life’s supposed promise-
A pact of success is something He hasn’t whispered as of late, but I journey on
as you sit there through the glass.

Smile. Smile. Smile.
We stand-

Together,
laying, separate,
and then back again.

Too apart for my skin!

Are you still dancing?

Picture Contest, omg.

2009-05-20T17:53:00.003-04:00

Best caption to the picture wins, uhm... a prize. Sure, yea.. a prize.
Video up on my channel, as well :-) MWAHAHA http://www.youtube.com/colormekristen

Philosophy

2009-05-17T22:02:00.007-04:00

The definition of "Pwn" or "Pown" as written in Urban Dictionary is, "An act of dominating an opponent."

As I went to twitter "I'm going to pwn life" I decided to first look up the various spellings and definitions of pwned. When I came across the prior definition, I began to have second thoughts about the tweet.

Is life actually an opponent? Is life actually working against us? While I just meant it in a facetious way, to say such a statement might very well be completely inaccurate.

I think the answer to the question lies within each individuals personal beliefs. Is "life" a higher being, such as God controlling and/or using situations and occurrences for ultimate benefit? or Is "life" just the decisions we make controlled by us and only us?

Despite differences in faith and morale from person to person"I'm going to pwn life" is just another way of saying life doesn't always go as planned... and when that happens, there isn't much you can do about it besides relax and try your best. Do your best to succeed at reaching that goal you're attempting to achieve whilst going with the flow of the hardships that may and most likely will come along.

Lol, gosh... I'm a hippie minus all the drugs and not showering. Plus, I'm a Christian. Hippies can like God, right? Dude, anyone can be a hippie. How cool is that? Freaking Hindu hippies, Jewish hippies, Buddhist hippies. Let's all go pick some flowers.